“My friend has problems with winter and autumn.
They give him prescriptions and shine bright lights on him.
They say it’s genetic, they say he can’t help it, they say you can catch it - but sometimes you’re born with it.”
Too many pills, too much time, too much effort.
Every time I my therapist tells me I need to take the medication, what I hear is that I’m too weak to bear the symptoms of my condition alone. She told me that there’s things I just can’t control. I know that. I would simply like to at least try. It’s true that I don’t have the self-confidence to believe I will really make it by myself. And maybe it’s even truer that I don’t have the will to make a proper attempt. But perhaps those are reasons enough to reduce the medication, so I can convince myself that I’m not that weak because, after all, I’m trying.
I used to be indecisive, now I’m
not sure…
No, I am sure. I am sure that I’ll fuck things up if I don’t take these pills. I need them. And who cares if I’m weak or not, a least I won’t be some stupid mental illness. I’ll be more than that. I’ll be myself.
I honestly don’t know what my therapist is going to say after I confess that I haven’t been taking all the medication that she prescribed me with.
‘You don’t know anything about society, Marie. You don’t have the satisfaction of avoiding it.’
– Film ‘The Game’ (1997)Self-Harm it’s not ONLY cutting
I think everyone that looks for the ‘SH’ or ‘SI’ tags on Tumblr, has already noticed that the posts are frequently only about one form of SH - cutting. But because versatility is a very important part of my life *obvious irony*, I self-injury in many ways and so I think there should also be more information about the other types.
I don’t know if I’ll come up with anything useful but I’ll try to post some information about it.
